Where is your self esteem?

What is it about young ladies that makes them feel that their identity is defined by a man? Or what about middle aged women who are still searching for that right one? What is it that makes women feel that they are inadequate until a man comes along and tells them that they are beautiful? Why do we as women have a problem loving ourselves?

When I look in the mirror I see a beautiful woman who is educated, loving, caring, trustworthy, down to earth and honest, among many things. But I did not always feel that way about myself. I used to actively search for love in all the wrong places with all the wrong guys looking for acceptance and love, but when it all failed I would sit there wondering what was wrong with me. I've been through it, but now I am a completely different person. My life and my situations didn't change until I fell in love with me. I learned to love who I was and to be comfortable in my own skin.

Self respect, self love and self worth is something that I see missing in a lot of women. It really bothers me now when I see a woman crying because a man left her or cheated on her. I get enraged when I hear men talk about women as if they are a piece of meat because we are so much more than that. We are worth so much more than that.

Women need to learn how to boost their own self esteem. We need to learn how to love ourselves and how to define ourselves without relying on the thoughts and opinions of others. Any man who cannot respect you means you nothing but harm. Any man who can't be faithful to you, is not worth the tears or the time and definitely not worth carrying the title of your "boyfriend."

Proverbs 18:22 says that "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. " We were not meant to go out in the streets to find a man, we were meant to be found. Someone once told me that a woman should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek Him in order to find her. We focus all of our attention on men trying to please them, but how much attention do we put into pleasing God?

Being in love is a beautiful feeling, but its so much better when the feeling is mutual. You cant expect a relationship to last if he doesn't love you back. He can say that he loves you a thousand times, but I believe that love is an action word. Make him show you that he loves you. If he isn't willing to do that then maybe he is not the one that God made for you.

Stop settling for mediocre men, you will only hurt yourself in the long run. I met a woman the other day at a comedy show. She and her husband have been together for a long time and when she introduced her husband to me and my friend she said, "every woman should have one of these. This is a good man, every girl should have one of these!" That let me know that true love does exist, but we can't go out actively seeking a man thinking that every man will be a good man....that's just not gonna happen! So be patient and wait for God to reveal him to you. In the mean time work on you. Focus on God and building your self esteem. Work on realizing who you are and what you are worth. Once you realize it, you wont even need a man to define who you are.

Love you 1st.

Blessed and Highly Favored

If I could take a minute to expose myself to you I would tell you that the day my father died was the day that nearly destroyed me. I would tell you how I lost my faith and told God to never interfere with my life again, as if my life didn't belong to him! I would tell you how I used to smoke and drink until.....exactly, I dont even remember half of those days. I would tell you how I used alcohol and marijuana to suppress my problems. I would tell you of some of the things I went through that made me pray to God that he would just let me die (u wouldn't beleive some of the things) I would tell you about all of my insecurities, tragedies, imperfections and deepest fears...But I'd rather tell you about how Blessed I am.

I have learned that sometimes God will bring you to your lowest point just to get your attention. Just when you think it is never going to end, God comes around and works a miracle that you never even seen coming. Looking back, I know that a lot of the things that I went through were my own fault! God kept showing me what direction he wanted me to go in but I always went the other way. If I told you what it took for God to get my attention you would probably think I was lying but I will tell you that there are 3 other people on this earth who were there and saw what I saw, and experienced what I experienced. There are only 3 other people who can testify to that day. 3.....the number of confirmation, how ironic is that? My two college roommates and a friend of ours. But I will leave that between the 4 of us and God, because I truly beleive that what God showed us on the evening of February 13th, 2005 was for us. But that day, I knew that My God was real. All the years that I had been running from him, he didnt forget about me. I put myself in so many situations where, really I dont even know how I am still here living. God saved me. Everytime I put myself in danger, my Maker allowed me to live to see another day. When I thought I had nothing to live for, God gave me my son, Micah. Y'all just dont know! The day my son was born was the day God blessed my life beyond measure. I had to live. I had to survive. I had to straighten up and be a Mother to my son. He depends on me. God entrusted me with his life. Sometimes I hold my son and I just thank God for him. I am so grateful for His gift. I cherish every minute that I am with him and everytime my son smiles at me I could just cry. (My son has a beautiful smile) I cherish my son, but I will never take him for granted. I will always remember that just as God gave him to me, he can take him away. So I just remember to ALWAYS thank God and praise God for him. I am so grateful and thankful for God's love and mercy. That is how I know that God has a plan for me. I am a far cry from the little girl I used to be, I have changed in so many ways. Never again will I lose my faith and deny God. Im striving to be a better woman, a better Christian, a better person overall. I am determined to get it right. The fact that I am here, living, and breathing lets me know that I Am Blessed and Highly Favored by the Lord.
Micah Khalil = "He who is like God" is an "Honorable Comrade"
Be Blessed Yall!

Is "the Secret" really a Secret?

I have watched "The Secret" and I listen to it frequently on audio (I put it on my Ipod) as a reminder of the power of my thoughts. It helps me focus on the good in every situation and helps me to stay positive. When I focus on the good in life, I receive more good. Have you ever noticed that when something gets the best of you and you find yourself angry at the world bad things keep on coming at you? Have is ever occurred to you that when people are depressed they go on and on about what they are depressed about....and the list never ends? Has is ever occurred to you that when you get mad and focus on what made you mad, you get even more mad? It's because they are focusing on the bad and ignoring all the good in life. People can't be happy if they feel they have nothing to be happy about. No one ever prospers when they feel that they will never prosper. No one ever succeeds if they always concentrate on failure. If its one thing that us humans forget to do sometimes it is to be grateful for the things that we have been blessed with, we sometimes forget to give God credit when credit is due.

When I ask God for something, not necessarily material things, I have faith that He will provide and He most certainly always does. I always believe that God will show up and show out when I need him and he always does just that. And when it is given to me, I thank him and I praise him for it. In return, he keeps on blessing me. "The Secret" teaches the same concept. They have said that "The Secret" is to: Ask, Believe & Receive. In other words, Ask with all your heart, Believe with unwavering faith that you will get it, and receive it with your deepest gratitude. Did you really have to watch the movie to figure that out? The bible has been around for ages and has always said the same things. Luke 11:9-10 says, "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." And again in Matthew 7:7-8 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" And again in Matthew 18:19 "Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. " And then again in Matthew 21:22 "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive". Now lets move over to John 14:13-14 "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." Philippians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." In James 4:2 the bible also says that "ye have not, because ye ask not." Its all the same thing. A lot of people sit around and claim that they don't pray because God never answers. That is wrong. He answers, but are you listening? Or is it that you go to him and ask without truly believing that he will come through? When you go to God to ask for anything, you need to ask with unwavering faith that it will be given to you. If not, what's the point in asking?!

As far as "the Secret" goes, don't get me wrong, I am not knocking "The Secret" because as I stated earlier I listen to it often as a reminder, key word here is "reminder." I listen to it as I am going to sleep and reflecting on my day. I think about all the things I went through that day and try to find a blessing in every situation. Regardless of whether or not it was a good situation or a bad one, I try to focus on the good because I know if I focus on the bad, I will sit there and get more angry and then think of more things to be angry about. That is how the devil works.

Before I go, I just want to leave you with a word from James 4:2:
"Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not" (King James version)

In other words:

"You want something but do not get it, so you commit murder. You covet something but cannot obtain it, so you quarrel and fight. You do not get things because you do not ask for them!" (International Standard version of the bible)